20 DANGERS & ODD CHALLENGES Abuse Victims Face

Covert abuse is considered to be one of the most dangerous forms of abuse in existence.  It destroys reputations, lives & families.  The target (and those nearby, like shared children) are indirect abuse victims, too.  Life Coach, Lisa A. Romano characterizes Covert Narcissistic Abuse as, "The attempted murder of your soul."  Famous cases make the news, but rarely point out the covert/narcissist connection.

1. It's hard for victims to detect and believe, much for less outsiders.
2. The diabolical nature of covert abuse makes it hard to explain, and by extent, almost impossible to expose.
3. Victims suffer alone. Coverts constantly maneuver to isolate their target. Friends can turn on the victim.
4. Everything the victim cares about is targeted for sabotage; relationships, career, special days, reputation, etc.
5. A Covert Narcissist's smear campaign can ruin a victim's reputation long before the victim finds out.
6. Betrayal Trauma isn't just about getting over one covert attacker - it can involve former friendships, too.
7. Third-party proxy attacks carried out by Flying Monkeys can be particularly painful.
8. False Allegations and Incarceration. Covert Narcissists aren't afraid to lie to the Police.
9. Financial malfeasance and/or fraud. If it's possible a Covert will end up with the victim's money.
10. Indirect victims include children, mutual friends, disposable enablers & entire families ruined.
11. Reactive Abuse is meant to incite a victim to act out, getting themself in authentic trouble with the Police.
12. A reactive abuse breakdown can land the "original" victim (rightfully) in prison.
13. Weaponizing Courts might involve recruiting legal authorities to carry out proxy attacks {on false charges).
14. Coverts will use (even their own) children as pawns if the target stops providing narcissistic supply.
15. Victims can suffer nervous breaks, long-term depression & C-PTSD for years. Some are changed forever.
16. Long-term covert abuse can cause brain damage.
17. Kids complicate it greatly. You can feel damned if you expose the abuser and damned if you don't.
18. Jesus advised to not tolerate the Jezebel Spirit in Rev 2:20.
19. Some victims come to the (wrong) conclusion that suicide is the only way to cure a wounded psyche.
20. Extreme cases involve false imprisonment & murder-for-hire (i.e. Sara Jane Parkinson & Dahlia Dippolito).

WHAT MISTAKES DO COVERT ABUSE VICTIMS FREQUENTLY MAKE?

Your understanding of human nature, past experiences and conventional wisdom won't work with a Covert Narcissist. That's why educating yourself (next to identifying covert abuse) is the most critical part of recovery. The speed at which a covert abuse victim learns to avoid common mistakes can impact recovery time by several years.

Basically, if you are (or think you are) a Victim of Covert Narcissistic Abuse, make sure you DON'T . . . 

1. Fail to notice red flags, identify what's happening or fail to recognize it soon enough.
2. Disclose you're researching Covert Narcissism to your abuser.
3. Fail to educate yourself on how Covert Narcissists operate.
4. Attempt to defend yourself and/or fix your smeared reputation by discussing it with others.
5. Try to use normal compassion & empathy to reach your abuser. It doesn't work on Coverts.
6. Try to solve the problem without getting professional help.
7. Refuse an easy exit for superficial ego reasons.
8. Fail to recognize your mental injuries or your skewed frame of mind, often unbeknownst to you.
9. Underestimate the boldness, imagination or motivation of a Covert Narcissist afraid of exposure.
10. Ignore your wounds & level of shock.  Give yourself plenty of time to heal.